Babble's Real Men (And Women) of Genius

Subject:

Babble's Real Men (And Women) of Genius

Message:

Let's hear it for the unsung heroes of Babblesex, using the format of the popular Bud Lite commercials. I'll do the first one:

Babblesex presents...Real Men (and Women) of Genius...

VOCALIST: Real Men (and Women) of Genius...

Here's to you Ms. Professional Webcamera Model...

VOCALIST: Ms. Professional Webcamera Model...

While other women are going out and contributing to the welfare and betterment of mankind, you said, "No way. I've got higher aspirations."

So you went to the local Office Depot and purchased a middle-of-the-line internet camera and became an instant on-line enterpenuer.

VOCALIST: Free for the first 3 minutes...

So you ask a perfect stranger for his credit card number. No, you say, you won't be charged; it's only for age verification purposes; just as monkeys begin to fly out of your butt.

And what do those poor suckers get who fork over their plastic moola? The privelege of talking to you, of course, while you stare blankly at them like a deer looking at an on-coming semi.

VOCALIST: Bambi's gonna be toast, man!

And then they get "the good stuff," you, taking off your clothes and swirling your bare butt at a startlingly realistic .5 frames per second. While you try not to fall asleep from boredom. While your customers try not to fall asleep from boredom.

So here's to you, O Worker of the Webcam. While some simply ignore your endless one-line ads in the chatrooms, we'll alway "add you up" and the sum is one big fat zero.

VOCALIST: Ms. Professional Webcamera Model...

Subject:

Re: Babble's Real Men (And Women) of Genius

Message:

*looks back up and reads the topic for the 4th time*

erm dream...youve totally lost me lmao
i need that dam gps....dam lel where is she im sure she took it with her coz im getting way to lost too often recently!

*looks around for miss aj*
i thought she would of been here by now

Subject:

Re: Babble's Real Men (And Women) of Genius

Message:

im always here i was just in awe of whatever that shit is, i had no idea wtf to say to it

Subject:

Re: Babble's Real Men (And Women) of Genius

Message:

Come on, AJ, Cinders, surely you've heard the Bud Lite beer commercials, right? Or they purely a local phenomenon? Perhaps another example might help...

Babblesex presents...Real Men (and Women) of Genius...

VOCALIST: Real Men (and Women) of Genius...

Here's to you Mr. Horny Chatroom Cyber Guy!

VOCALIST: Mr. Horny Chatroom Cyber Guy!

You hover in the shadows of the chatrooms...ALL of the chatrooms, including the Guys and Girls Who Love To Whack Off To Cher Songs room...just waiting for a girl to log on so you can swoop down and dazzle her with such classic opening lines as "wanna fuck?" or "wanna see my huge meat muscle?"

VOCALIST: What the hell's a meat muscle?

If the girl doesn't immediately hit the "Ignore" button, then you're in hog heaven! She's going to have the most stimulating sexual experience of her life...or she might chose to talk to you instead.

The next five minutes are filled with a chorus of "ohhhh"s and "ahhhhhh"s and "oh baby, take it all", culminating in the ever popular "I cummmmm!" Ahhh, was it good for you, babe? No? Who cares? I got mine!

VOCALIST: Hello? Are you still there?

So here's to you, O Poet of the Pocket Porno. You may be unimaginative and inarticulate but you'll always have us cumming back for more!

VOCALIST: Mr. Horny Chatroom Cyber Guy!

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Re: Babble's Real Men (And Women) of Genius

Message:

i just wish here was more real men in babble like beani and gdog.

Subject:

Re: Babble's Real Men (And Women) of Genius

Message:

*Checks his crotchal area*

Looks real enough to me! LOL!

Account deleted on 28 Aug, 2008

Subject:

Re: Babble's Real Men (And Women) of Genius

Message:

LOL! I feel humbled by your praise, dear heart. Rest assured that I am making my way to you as quickly as I can. Don't start without me! Muah!

Subject:

Re: Babble's Real Men (And Women) of Genius

Message:

hahahahahaha GT2 you're right about gdog he is real and hes a real nice guy but you might wanna think twice about beani hes aint so real

Subject:

Re: Babble's Real Men (And Women) of Genius

Message:

oh he is .....
he certainly is....

Subject:

Re: Babble's Real Men (And Women) of Genius

Message:

thanks for the warning AJ.... yes gdog is great, wonderful man (and handsome) and a very good friend for any one that whants to be his friend.

you may know beani longer than me, but he had always treated me with respect and he has always been honest with me. he had helped me through a difficult time and for that i would always be in his debt.

he is one of my best friends that i would trust with my life. i don't care how many accounts he has on babble or what he told other ppl and all that jazz, but i do care if people is talking badly of him. he is not a bad person and most defenitly not a liar. he just say what he feels and thinks.

for me he is a real man....

Subject:

Re: Babble's Real Men (And Women) of Genius

Message:

Babblesex presents...Real Men (and Women) of Genius...

VOCALIST: Real Men (and Women) of Genius...

Here's to you Mr./Ms. Chatroom Sex-Changer Guy/Gal!

VOCALIST: Mr./Ms. Chatroom Sex-Changer Guy/Gal!

You're just a regular horny dude so desperate for attention that one day you woke up and decided, hey, today, I'm going on-line and pretend to be a woman. But wait, you're straight and you don't want tons of other horny, desperate men hiting on you in the chatrooms. What to do? The answer is obvious, pretend to be a lesbian.

VOCALIST: I'm only into other women so guys, don't bother!

So you start chatting up the "lesbos," thinking, "Sure, I can pull this off. After all, I love pussy, too!"

VOCALIST: Loooove that bearded clam!

But sooner of later, you're going to slip up and the lesbian in question is going to catch on, especially when you cyber with her and type, "Yeah, baby, lick my cock!" followed almost immediately with "Um, pussy, I meant. Yeah, pussy."

VOCALIST: Pardon my blooper!

So here's to you, O Gender Jumper. You may only be able to fool some of the people some of the time but that's good enough for you!

VOCALIST: Mr./Ms. Chatroom Sex-Changer Guy/Gal!

Subject:

Re: Babble's Real Men (And Women) of Genius

Message:

Babblesex presents...Real Men (and Women) of Genius...

VOCALIST: Real Men (and Women) of Genius...

Today we salute you, Mr. Public Chatroom Cyber Guy!

VOCALIST: Mr. Public Chatroom Cyber Guy!

You begin your chatroom chat by saying Hi to any available female in the room(or more often than not just shouting their name in an exaggeratedly drawn out fashion, i.e. "Diiiiiiicccckkkkliiiiccckkkerrr!"). For some unfathomable reason, the lady in question responds, usually my calling back your name is an equally exaggerately drawn out fashion. Now you're talking (or are you?)!

VOCALIST: Sorry, what was your name again?

Before you know it, your overstimulated libido kicks into high geer and you begin to coyly hint at a possible sexual connection between the two of you, i.e. "I wanna jump your hot little bones." Soon you shed your inhibitions like a camgirl sheds her clothes and the two of you are swapping short barks of narrative describing your amorous but not-all-that-cleaver naughty activity, culminating in one or both of you revealing you have achieved nervona!

VOCALIST: Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Yes, it's true that everyone else in the room is being made privy to your virtual "intimacy". So what? You know no shame. You apparently also know no sentences longer than 5 words. So here's to you, O X-Rated Exhibitionist! We'd offer to shake your hand but we can see they're both busy...

VOCALIST: Mr. Public Chatroom Cyber Guy!

Account deleted on 02 Nov, 2008

Subject:

Re: Babble's Real Men (And Women) of Genius

Message:

But commercials? If you meant butt commercials, those would be the profiles of the camgirls showing their cute little asses. We don't allow those in this forum. Oh, BUD commercials! That's very different... Nevermind.

Subject:

<no subject>

Message:

Even when you don't know what to say, I notice you still say it. LOL. Welcome back, Lel!

Subject:

Re: Babble's Real Men (And Women) of Genius

Message:

Okay...

W-e m-i-s-s-e-d y-o-u, L-e-l.

*Hands Lel a Dick and Jane book, having to explain that the Dick in the book isn't what she's used to.*

Account deleted on 02 Nov, 2008

Subject:

Re: Babble's Real Men (And Women) of Genius

Message:

Yes, I noticed that there's no edit function; would have come in handy a time or two, as would a delete button that actually works! Oh well, you can't have everything (but I'm sure as hell gonna try!).

Subject:

Re: Babble's Real Men (And Women) of Genius

Message:

Babblesex presents...Real Men (and Women) of Genius...

VOCALIST: Real Men (and Women) of Genius...

Today we salute you, Mr./Ms. Chatroom Log Poster!

VOCALIST: Mr./Ms. Chatroom Log Poster!

Not content to merely engage in mindless chatroom conversations, you thoughtfully preserve each and every one of them for posterity by copying and pasting them into the log section of this site. Did anything momentous occur? Any pearls of wisdom dispensed? No? Well, go ahead and post it anyway!

VOCALIST: Share, share, share!

Edit? You can't be bothered to stinking edit! You include every irrelevant word. A typical example? How's this?

*** pinky thingy has joined the room
*** dumb and dumber shit has disconnected [Connection reset by peer]
<sluttiest of the slutty> hey pinky
*** babbling brooke has quit
*** thestub05 has joined the room
*** prickitlikebeckham has joined the room
<thatfunkyoudo> Pinky!
<WTF LOL OMG> hyd?
<WolfOntheProwl> heyy pinky

And so on and so on infinitium...

VOCALIST: I'm missing the point here!

Finally someone makes a vague reference to something tangible...

<igottapee> Hey, I gotta pee!

Now the conversation really starts rolling...

<WTF LOL OMG> PMSL!
<sluttiest of the slutty> ewwwwwwwww
*** babbling brooke has rejoined the room
*** dumb and dumber shit has rejoined the room (Reconnection reset by peer)
<babbling brooke> Did I miss anything?
*** gotmythingstuckinthefaucet has joined the room
<thestub05> nope, igottapee and wtf are just relieving themselves
<gotmythingstuckinthefaucet> Ooooh! Golden showers! Can I play? Can I???!!!
<lyingliam> hi pinky

VOCALIST: Where are you, Pinky?!

Eventually this stimulating debate culminates...

<igottapee> Okay, I'm back. Did I miss anything?
*** babbling brooke has left the room
*** sluttiest of the slutty has left the room

So here's to you, O Leaver of the Logs! Even when we have nothing important to say, we can always count on you to let every know that we said it.

VOCALIST: Mr./Ms. Chatroom Log Poster!

Account deleted on 19 Nov, 2008