Why cant you have both? If you love your partner then you should both be comfortable enough to be selfish sometimes and bang away like theres no tomorrow or loving and giving, concentraing on sharing the pleasure. Lets not forget that your partner may well like to be fucked ragged occaisionaly too, and why not, as long as you have a kiss and a cuddle afterwards, you can easily combine the rough with the smooth. But if your question is Lover or Annonymous then its lover every time, unless you intend to make annonymous your lover of course.
